Thursday, July 2, 2009

Pac Man (2012)

Despite the fact that video game-inspired films have not yet attained either critical or financial success, the film industry still believes in them enough to invest some serious cash in upcoming game-based projects. Producer Steven Paul, who has brought movie audiences recent gems such as Ghost Rider and Bratz, announced that his production company, Crystal Sky Pictures, has managed to bring in $200 million to help fund five films. These include Castlevania, an unnamed sequel to Hard Boiled (which inspired John Woo's Stranglehold), and a celluloid version of Pac-Man.

Despite Pac-Man's rich history in both video games and television, this movie is going to be a complete re-imagining of the franchise. An insider has leaked the the plot outline of film to us: P'ak, a powerful warrior from a different reality, is banished to our version of Earth by a traitorous general bent on usurping the throne of P'ak's world.

Stuck on our planet, P'ak ends up befriending quantum physicist Ernest and his young daughter, as well as developing a romantic entanglement with tribal tattoo artist Pepper. The three eventually help our hero return home, where he ends up saving the day and then bringing Pepper across the dimensional barrier to live happily ever after with him. Apparently, the P'ak is going to be a ripped guy for most of the movie, but his ceremonial armor will be a a close approximation to the round body we know from the video games; "it'll look kind of like those aliens from the beginning of The Fifth Element."

Wait... no, sorry, that wasn't an insider leak; that was just a flashback I had to a bad acid trip. Tell you what, go ahead and post your ideal plot in the comments. The best suggestion will be treated as the official story for the movie until we receive a press release telling us how wrong we all are.

arstechnica

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